I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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