found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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