I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
