My liver just broke up with me...
Michael Bay diarrhea
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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