It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize