He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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