Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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