I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize