I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
