That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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