white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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