Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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