I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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