Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
