i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
okay pat passed out under dana's car
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
