is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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