Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
