i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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