I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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