I need to stop coming to work sober
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
