elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
