can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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