I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
