im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
