my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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