remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize