Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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