found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
