You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
