last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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