There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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