If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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