And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
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