just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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