ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
