Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
