I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
