he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
