the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
