VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
