So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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