That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
