I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
