Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize