HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
