:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
