If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
