Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
