I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
