Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
