At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
