Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I am available for nakedness
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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