woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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