I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i now understand why vodka
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
