Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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