lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
