Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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