Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize