The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
