I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
